Identity Crisis
by Miss Peg
Summary: It's the summer after graduation from college and the sisterhood are living together for three months. They have it all planned, fun, movies and each other. But then Bee's friend Jane turns up unexpected...what is Bee's secret? SPOILERS for Fourth Book
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

After that fateful summer, we accepted the loss of the pants and taught ourselves to live apart. Despite our busy lives at college and socially, we always spoke at least once a week, emailing several times a week and meeting up for holidays in Bethesda, as well as the odd weekend. Life after the pants wasn't easy, there were arguments over missed calls and plenty of times when the four of us could not be together; but we got through it stronger than ever. Graduating year we'd been planning for since we'd returned to our second year at college. We were going to live together for three months over the summer. Then our lives were going to part again when Lena went back to Rhode Island to do a year long teaching course with the hope of teaching art in Bethesda. Carmen was going back to Williamstown for a six month internship at the Williamstown Gazette, whilst Tibby worked at a filming company in Washington DC for some work experience. I, Bridget, am moving back to Providence to coach a junior soccer team at a school out there. So our final summer, before summers became a season and we stopped having months of free time, was starting. Three months of movie nights, pizza eating and popcorn fights were ahead of us. That was, until my friend Jane came to visit…


	2. One: The Arrival

**Chapter One - The Arrival**

"Movie?"

"Check."

"Popcorn?"

"Check."

"Bridget?"

"Bee, where are you? The movie's about to start!" Carmen shouted across the apartment. I carried my bowl of carrot sticks into the seating area and found a space between Lena and Tibby, where I sat down.

"What are those?" Tibby asked.

"Carrot sticks." I announced, biting the head off one of them.

"I can see that, but what are they doing here, on a movie night?" a note of disapproval in her voice.

"Three months of this and all that popcorn is going to make you tubby. It doesn't matter for your careers, but I need to be slim." I told them.

"Still, carrot sticks?" Tibby wrinkled her nose. I laughed and stuck a carrot in her open mouth, she coughed and the carrot went flying onto the floor. Tibby and I laughed, then glanced up at Carmen and Lena who were staring at us confused.

"Movie." I announced, taking the remote from Carmen and hitting the play button.

We sat in silence, apart from the sound of crunching on popcorn and carrot sticks. The movie pulled us into the world, before Carmen shrieked.

"What's wrong?" Lena asked, worried. Carmen jumped out of her seat and ran into the bathroom.

"Carma?" she shouted and ran after her. Tibby and I followed, standing in the doorway as Carmen spat out her mouthful of popcorn.

"You okay, Carma?" Tibby asked, she just shook her head.

"Something not popcornish in the popcorn." she announced a few minutes later. We all shrieked as I emptied the contents of the bowl into a plastic bag and threw it in the trash. The drama died down and we all sat back down, Tibby was about to hit the play button again when the door bell rang. Lena, who was closest to the door, jumped to her feet and went to open it. We all glanced up at the doorway as a tall brunette woman filled the frame. Tibby, Carmen and Lena glanced around unsure of who she was. I screamed and jumped to my feet, running to the door, but stopping as I noticed the tears on her cheeks.

"Jane?" I asked, worried. Lena, Carmen and Tibby passed puzzled glances around behind me, but I ignored them and invited her in.

"I needed to see you." she muttered, tearily. I nodded and walked across the room, signalling for her to follow.

"We're going to go into my room. You can carry on watching the film if you like." I told them, unsure of the time I'd take.

The girls watching as I disappeared into my room with Jane, as soon as the door was shut I pulled her into my arms to comfort her.

"What's going on?" I asked, finally. She sat on my bed, her body shaking slightly. I sat beside her and took her hand. "It's okay, you can tell me."

"My, my dad." she stuttered, the words enough for me to know what was going on. She started to cry, as though she was given an outlet for her tears. I comforted her until she fell asleep from crying so much. I stayed with her for a few minutes until I was sure she was definitely asleep, before I left her.

The movie was coming to a close when I entered the seating area, as if they'd been waiting for it, Lena, Tibby and Carmen glanced up in unison as soon as I'd opened the door. I sat opposite them, wondering how to word what I was about to say.

"Who is your friend?" Lena asked, before words filled my head.

"My friend? Oh." I nodded. "Jane, she's…she lost her dad." I informed them.

"Lost as in...died?" Tibby asked, slowly. I nodded.

"What happened?" Carmen whispered.

"He's been sick for a while with cancer." I told them. They all glanced to my bedroom door, with sad expressions on their faces. "She knew it was going to happen, just not when. It's still not as easy."

"No." Tibby muttered, holding my hand.

"I'm fine." I assured them. "But Jane needs me right now. Think you can share me?"

"Of course we can, Bee." Carmen smiled, their hands all reaching for mine. I sat there for a minute, comforted by their presence.

"Thanks Guys." I told them, before going back to Jane.

Jane had woken when I got back into my room, I sat beside her and stroked her wet hair from her face.

"You should go back to sleep." I told her, my hand resting on her cheek.

"I will." she replied, smiling slightly. "But I needed a kiss goodnight."

I nodded and leant to touch her lips with mine, I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and we kissed for a few minutes. Before she lay back down and fell into a slumber.


	3. Two: The Secret

**Chapter Two - The Secret**

I woke up early the next morning and went for a run, when I returned no one was up so I went into the kitchen and started to cook some breakfast. I was frying eggs when two arms reached around my waist.

"Good morning." Jane announced, kissing my neck. I turned slightly in her arms, forgetting I wasn't in my dorm kitchen anymore. A door banged closed and I jumped out of her grasp as Tibby entered the kitchen.

"Morning Bee." she muttered, her head fixed on the daily newspaper.

"Oh, Tibs, you scared me." I said, breathing deeply.

"Sorry. What are you cooking?"

"Eggs, you want?"

"Sure, that'd be great."

I avoided eye contact with Jane and continued to cook the eggs. But Tibby obviously didn't.

"Hi, Jane isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"I'm Tibby, one of Bee's room mates."

"Oh, hello. Bridge has told me so much about you."

"Strange that, she hasn't told me anything about you." Tibby stated.

"Really? Bridge and I have been seeing…"

"Eggs." I said loudly, placing a plate down on the table in front of Tibby. She said a quick thanks, before digging into her breakfast.

"So what were you saying?" Tibby asked. I interrupted again.

"Jane, a word, please."

Jane followed me into my room, where I closed the door and tried to speak in a hushed shout.

"What are you doing?"

"What do you mean?" she asked, looking confused.

"Tibs, doesn't know about us." I told her. She frowned.

"She doesn't? What about Lena and Carmen?"

"They don't either." I muttered.

"Oh, Bridge." she sighed. "I can understand you not being able to tell your father, but they're your friends. From what you've told me about them, they'd love you no matter what."

"I just…can't." I stumbled over the words. Her hand rested on my shoulder and I felt the urge to kiss her, I rested a hand on her arm and leant forwards. The door banged opened and I jumped backwards.

"Can't you knock?" I snapped, as Tibby stood in the doorway.

"What's got into your pants today?" she frowned. "Your eggs are burning."

"Oh." I sighed. I waited for Tibby to leave us alone again, but she stood in the doorway. I glanced at Jane in a 'don't tell anyone' way before going back to the kitchen to finish making breakfast.

Within the hour the five us were sitting around the kitchen eating toast, eggs and reading the newspaper. Jane glanced at me every so often, a look of disapproval in her eyes.

"Guys, I need to say something." I whispered. But my announcement came a little too late when Carmen and Lena announced they had to go see their respective families and quickly left the room to get changed. Tibby disappeared a few minutes later and Jane and I were left alone again.

"Can't you tell Tibby on her own?"

"No." I shook my head. "It wouldn't be fair to tell one and not the others."

"Secrets never end happily Bridge."

"I know they don't, but this is hardly a secret, it's a part of me that I'm not willing to share with my friends at the moment."

"In other words a secret."

"Jane." I groaned.

"I just don't want to see you hurt."

"Speaking of hurt, enough about me. How are you?" I asked, resting my hand on her thigh. She smiled weakly and I saw the pain in her eyes for the first time that day.

"It's difficult."

"You're going to get through this." I promised her, squeezing her leg comfortingly. She rested her head against my shoulder and I kissed her forehead.

"Is she okay?" Tibby mouthed across from the doorway. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, but Tibby thought nothing of the way we were sat.

"She will be." I whispered back to her. Tibby nodded and disappeared back into her bedroom.


	4. Three: The Funeral

**Author Notes: Sorry it's taken me so long to update this story.**  
**Thanks to Ms. S. E. Hammond for reminding me about this story, don't worry, I wouldn't let anyone stop me from writing it, I was just being lazy! But I hope to continue and complete this story soon. Sorry it's not the longest chapter, others should be longer, I hope.  
**

**I hope you enjoy...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Sisterhood, Christmas present anyone?**

* * *

**Chapter Three - The Funeral**

"Why are you going to the funeral again?" Tibby asked, as Carmen, Lena and I sat opposite her around the kitchen table. Jane had gone to bed early, having had a rough day, full of grief.

"She's my friend. You know, like you guys." I muttered.

"She's not like us, you've not known her your whole life." Tibby defended. I tried to smile at her obvious jealousy, but instead I stood up quickly, letting the chair fall to the floor behind me.

"I have other friends Tibby, I might not have known them as long as you three, but they are still important to me." I knew I should have stopped, but I was too mad. "Jane's dad has died, I'm there for her, just like I was there for you when your brother and sister were born, or Carmen when her dad left, or Lena when Kostos got that girl pregnant. If you have a problem with her, that's your business, but I will not justify myself to you. Any of you."

"We're not here to judge Bee." Carmen assured me. I smiled, calming slightly.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Tibs, have you got anything to say?" Carmen asked, hoping for a reconciliation.

"I'm sorry too." she mumbled, somewhat sarcastically.

I ignored her mood and picked up the chair, before saying goodnight.

-

"I'm here if you need me." I told Jane as we sat in the taxi from the airport. Jane's family originated from Salem, Massachusetts. We got a flight there the morning before the funeral, then got some lunch and headed to her parents home. Jane smiled, allowing me to squeeze her hand in comfort.

"Thank you."

"I can hold you when you cry, right?" I asked, knowing her mom knew about our relationship.

"Sure. But no kisses. My mom and brother are fine with the gay thing, but my grandparents are traditional Catholics, I would tell them, but they're both so fragile."

"Kisses are for private only. Got it." I smiled, kissing her cheek.

The car pulled up outside the house and we climbed out, I held onto Jane's hand as we waited for the door to open. A tall, beautiful woman, almost identical to Jane opened the door and before I knew what was happening, I was being pulled into her arms and welcomed into her home. I knew the situation wasn't easy, but Jane's family were so kind and warm.

-

"Rough day, eh?" I whispered, my arms wrapped around Jane's shoulders. She simply nodded. I kissed the top of her head and gave her an additional squeeze. Eventually I could feel Jane's body shaking as the tears started to fall.

"I was wondering when this would start, since you barely cried at the funeral."

It took a while, but she finally answered me. "I guess I just needed to be somewhere where I could be myself to let myself cry."


	5. Four: The Fight

**AN: Please review, I love to know what people think of my stories.**

**Chapter Four - The Fight**

Jane returned to the apartment with me, much to Tibby's dislike. But I didn't feel ready to tell them why Jane's wellbeing was so important to me. The evening after we returned, I was ambushed whilst brushing my teeth; Carmen, Lena and Tibby dragged me into Tibby's room.

"What is going on?" I gasped, a frothy toothbrush still in my mouth.

"We need to talk." Tibby stated. I glared at her, sensing her frosty tone.

"She's going through a rough time and I didn't want her to be alone." I told them, knowing the subject of conversation.

"That's okay, we respect that." Carmen assured me, but I could tell the mood had changed for everyone.

"We love that you're being a friend to her in the way that we'd love it if you were doing it for us." Lena smiled.

"But…?"

"But…" Tibby began. "This was supposed to be a time for the four of us, not the four of us plus Brunette Barbie girl."

"Tibby!" Carmen and Lena warned, normally I would have laughed at Tibby's blunt remark.

"Jane needs me right now, I am the only person she knows who has lost a parent. I…she just needs me, okay?"

I knew my tone was different, harsh, forceful maybe. The three girls nodded and I knew they finally understood what I was trying to say, even though they didn't know the full story.

-

"You took a while." Jane noted when I climbed into the bed beside her.

"I was ambushed by my very best friends." I laughed, sarcastically. "They're a little upset that it's not the four of us like we'd talked about."

"What did you say?"

"I told them I needed to be here for you and that I was the only person to know what you're going through losing a parent."

Jane's expression turned to a frown and I knew what was coming.

"You didn't tell them about us then?" I shook my head. "If you'd told them, they would understand and you wouldn't have to keep explaining to them that you're being a 'friend'."

I could feel the pain in Jane's voice and I wanted to make her feel better, so I reached over and kissed her softly on the lips. But she was too angry, she pulled away and climbed out of the bed.

"I can't do this Bridge."

"I'm not ready." I snapped, reacting to her hostility.

"You are ready, you told me last month that you were ready." she said, louder than I would have liked.

"It's a lot easier saying that and then standing in front of your three best friends to tell them something so huge."

"It's not huge, it's just part of you." Jane shouted. "I have got too much on my mind right now to be worrying about who knows."

"I can't do it Jane." I shouted back. I was mad, I was angrier than mad. I couldn't believe she was pushing me to tell the girls. I didn't have the energy to fight about it, so I climbed out of the bed and walked to the door.

"I'm going to sleep on the sofa tonight."

-

I woke up to the sound of the water running in the kitchen, I tossed my blanket aside and stood up, scaring the person into jumping and screaming.

"You stay away from me, you want to steal our stuff, then you'll have to go through me!"

I laughed at the sound of Tibby's fighting talk and turned on the lamp.

"Bee?"

"Sorry if I scared you. I promise I won't steal your captain crunch again." I assured her.

"What are doing in here?" she asked, noticing the blankets.

"Jane and I got into a fight and I decided to sleep out here." I mumbled, unsure how Tibby would take the news. She surprised me and guided me back to the sofa where we sat side by side.

"You're pretty good friends with her then?" I nodded.

I wasn't sure whether to say anything, but I risked it anyway. "If I didn't have you three, she'd be my best friend."

"I'm sorry for being a jerk." Tibby smiled.

"I'm sorry for ruining our plans."

"I'm sorry for making you feel bad for ruining our plans."

"I'm sorry for making you feel bad for making me feel bad for ruining our plans." I informed her, before doubling over in laughter. We shared a smile and a hug and I knew things would be okay.

"I guess I should get back to sleep." I told her, rearranging the cushions.

"This sofa is so lumpy, come share with me. I promise not to hog the sheets." Tibby offered.

I smiled. "You'd better not, or I really will steal your captain crunch."

AN: Don't worry, the sleeping in Tibby's bed is perfectly innocent!


	6. Five: The BreakUp

**AN: Thanks for the review, I'm hoping to get into the nitty gritty in the next few parts. Enjoy...**

**Disclaimer: Who do the Sisterhood belong to? I would say me, but then I'd be lying.**

**Chapter Six - The Break-up**

The next morning I went to my room to fix things between Jane and I. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but we cared for one another.

"I'm sorry for walking out last night," I announced to the back of Jane's head. I held my breath, staring at her long, flowing hair as she straightened it.

"Hmm," she mumbled a response, prompting me to enter the room fully and close the door.

"You know how I feel about you Jane and I am here for you 100%."

"Except in front of your friends," she stated. I frowned and stood beside her, staring at her reflection.

"You know that's not true, I just won't kiss you in front of them."

"Same thing," Jane snapped.

"I don't see how." I tried to defend myself, but Jane was stubborn.

"I love you, I'm willing to shout it from the rooftops. You say you love me too, but only behind closed doors," she complained.

I sighed. "Jane, we've discussed this. It's not as simple as telling them and have them accept it; it's been the four of us for so long that I don't know how they'd feel having another person in the group."

"They've all got, or had, boyfriends, haven't they?" she questioned.

I nodded. "Yes, but they were boys...you're a girl. It's different," I tried to tell her, but she didn't understand.

"How? How exactly is it different?"

"I don't know, maybe it's because you breach the best friend territory, boys don't do that," I muttered, hoping for it to be enough, but Jane grunted in disapproval. "You know I love you Jane and I would do anything you ask of me; but just not this, not yet. I need time."

Jane stood up, unplugged her hair straighteners and picked up her suitcase off the floor. I stood frozen on the spot, as she threw her clothes into the black leather case.

"What, what are you doing?" I stuttered.

"I'm making things a whole lot easier for you Bridge, I can't deal with closet issues right now, not with my dad and all. Call me when you change your mind," she stated, sadly, before carrying the case out of the room. I found my knees forcing me to sit on the bed, where I stayed, staring into space at the open doorway. The door slammed shut as Jane left the apartment and I noticed the tears sliding down my cheeks and into my lap.

-

I woke up from a daydream to the sound of Lena, Carmen and Tibby whispering in the kitchen. I heard my name and turned to listen carefully. My door was still open, but the wall between my room and the kitchen gave me enough privacy to eavesdrop.

"I shouted her when I got home, but she wouldn't answer me. She's just sat in her room staring into space," Lena whispered.

"Where is Jane?" Tibby asked, her voice sounding sincere.

"I saw her throw her case into her car and drive off," Lena mumbled.

"She's gone?"

"Do you think they had another fight?" Tibby wondered.

"But why would she be acting so weird, Bee isn't the kind of person to mope over a fight. She'd be out there running it off," Carmen pointed out.

The conversation fizzled out into discussions of dates and weekend plans. I was thankful that their discussion had moved on, but I knew deep down that unless I told my friends the truth, the wondering would never disappear and maybe they would realise all by themselves.

**AN: Please review! I like to know what people think, even if you dislike it. However, I will not apologise for Bee's sexuality.**


	7. Six: The Outing

**AN: Sorry it's so short, I'm not very good at making very long chapters. Plus I think it's easier for people to read when there's less of it. Please review when you read, it's so nice for an author to read comments about their work, it can help them to continue! If no one reviews, how do we know anyone is really enjoying the story? Thanks for my comments. :)  
**

**Chapter Seven - The Outing**

The next morning I woke up early and made my way into the kitchen to find Lena, Carmen and Tibby already awake and dressed. I took a deep breath and sat opposite my friends.

"Lena, Carmen, Tibby," I muttered, preparing myself to admit the truth.

"Are you alright? We know Jane left yesterday," Carmen announced, I just nodded and let their conversation unfold.

"Is she coming back?" Tibby asked at the same time as Lena asked, "What happened between you two?"

I looked from one girl to the next and finally down at my hands. I could hear the intake of breaths, a synchronised nervousness that we all felt. It was like they knew I had something important to say.

"Jane wasn't just my friend," I blurted out, avoiding the gaze of my best friends.

I could feel the confused looks staring at me. "What do you mean?" Tibby asked.

I found courage that made me look into their eyes. " Jane was my girlfriend."

"Girlfriend...or girl...friend?" Lena asked, unsurely.

"We were in a relationship. I, I was in love with her," I told them, my confidence growing.

"What about Eric?" Lena questioned, curiously "and every guy you have been with?"

I smiled, thankful for Lena's honest reaction. "I'm bisexual."

"How long have you known?" she asked, filling a silence that followed the complete confession.

"About a year."

Carmen's face, which was previously neutral, folded into a very harsh frown; she rose from her seat and glared at me.

"A year?" she gasped. "You have lied to us all for a whole...year?"

I took a deep breath, not expecting any hostility. "Carma..."

But she quickly interrupted me. "No, don't Carma me, I cannot believe you. It's not right, you can't just tell us something like that and expect us to be okay. You kept this from us."

"I didn't..."

"No, don't even try to explain yourself," Carmen shouted, pacing across the kitchen in obvious distress. I held myself together long enough for Carmen to continue her rant, then proceed to slam the door of her room in anger. It took me a few minutes to look up from the table. I was thankful for Lena's softened expression staring back. Her hand reached out and gave mine a squeeze.

"We still love you Bee, you're still you. So, Jane, she's pretty!"

I smiled and sniffed back a few tears. "She is, thank you Lenny. I love you too."

"Tibs?" Lena whispered, pulling Tibby out from a reverie. I took a deep intake of breath wondering where Tibby stood: on the side of Carmen, or Lena?

She looked nervous and despite it being awkward, Tibby smiled.

"Of course we still love you."

I smiled back and thanked them for being so calm. I stood up and made an excuse to leave them alone, to let them gather their thoughts.


	8. Seven: The Reaction

**AN: Thanks again for the review...I hope the story is still enjoyable. I had written a few chapters which have all been posted, but now I'm back to needing to write new chapters again before I can post anything. Hopefully it'll be up by tomorrow at the latest, I'm a little busy this afternoon, but I can always write whilst sat on the bus. Anyway...please review! :)**

**Chapter Seven - The Reaction**

I woke up to the sound of Carmen shouting. I glanced at the clock, which read 2 am. I stretched, yawned and rolled over, wondering whether I'd imagined it, until she shouted again.

"I will not calm down Lena. Bridget is a lesbian, she lied to us her whole life."

Lena's voice was quieter, but equally distressed. "Will you please keep your voice down or you'll wake her up. Bridget discovered something new about herself, did you really expect her to come tell us as soon as she realised? And she's bisexual, not lesbian."

"Yes," Carmen snapped.

"No you don't," Lena sighed.

Carmen sighed and there was silence.

"Tibby?" Lena whispered. "Have you got anything to say?"

"No," she muttered in response.

I got out of bed and clung to the back of the door, hugging it with one ear against the wood to hear better. They were analysing their feelings on me and though I felt bad to be listening to their discussion, I knew it might have been the only way to know how they really felt.

"Tibby, don't stay on the fence with this," Carmen snapped. "If you're mad, you should say you're mad."

I could hear Tibby clear her throat in an awkward, nervous way.

"I'm not mad," she stated. I imagined Carmen's face turning to disappointment at the news that noone was on her side, until Tibby spoke up again.

"But I can't get my head around it. I always knew Bee was a passionate person, passionate about life and the people in it. I never expected any of those people to be gay or for Bee to be gay back."

A long silenced followed, a few coughs, some deep breaths, but mostly an awkward, standstill silence.

"Maybe we should sleep on it." Tibby offered. "Carmen you need to get through your anger, it was a shock, sure. But she's still Bee, even if it will take some getting used to. Lena, I commend your acceptance of it, but come on, you can't be that okay, that quickly. This changes things, whether we want it to or not."

I wanted to cry; I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. I wanted more than anything to go out there and hug Tibby for her wonderful honesty. But I knew I couldn't let them know I'd heard, not yet at least. I climbed back into bed and tried to fall back to sleep, but my friends thoughts kept running through my mind until finally the apartment was quiet and the sun peeped through the gap in the curtains. A new day was beginning and maybe a new chapter of my life.

-

I finally climbed out of bed and wandered into the living area. I jumped on sight of Carmen sat on the sofa, staring into space in front of her. I walked over and sat down, cautiously.

"Carm?" I asked, unsurely.

She turned to face me, her face red from tears. I bent my head to the side and gave her a sympathetic, but curious glare. Her mouth curled into a smile and she wrapped her arms around my back.

"I'm so sorry Bee," she sobbed.

"It's okay."

"No, it's not," she cried. "I was awful to you, I made it sound like I didn't accept you as you are. But it's not that. I was just mad that you didn't tell us."

"I'm mad at me for that too," I whispered, resting my head against Carmen's. "It wasn't easy for me keeping it from you. I wanted to tell you so many times."

"But we're the Sisterhood…the _four_ of us," she mumbled.

I laughed a little. "Exactly. How could I change that when it's so special?!"

We sat in silence, content with having found peace between us, until Lena and Tibby stumbled out of their bedrooms on after the other. Lena came out first and almost threw herself at us in hugs, glad that we'd sorted things out. When Tibby appeared, she was still cautious and unsure. I watched her greet the room in a mumbled sentence and make herself some cereal. Lena was fine, Carmen was getting there and Tibby, well Tibby wasn't as far along as the others. She didn't say it out loud, but I knew her little speech the night before was more to gather her thoughts than to persuade the others that things were okay. She ate in silence and made an excuse, before leaving the apartment. Carmen and Lena shared a look of sorrow that summed up everything I felt about their reactions. Maybe I'd always hoped for them to be happy like Lena, or get mad, but only at the lack of truth, like Carmen. I hadn't anticipated any of them to react the way Tibby had.


	9. Eight: The Resolution

**AN: Not quite qhat you had in mind Ms. S. E. Hammond, but thanks for reading and reviewing! I hope this next chapter is okay.**

**Please review if you read!**

**Chapter Eight – The Resolution**

"Who's up for movie night tonight?" Carmen asked, entering the apartment with a handful of DVDs. Tibby and Lena, who were busy cooking pasta, joined Carmen and I on the sofa.

"What movies did you get?" Tibby asked.

Carmen looked a little unsure, before proceeding. "I thought I'd get some movies with gay women in them, but I could only find ones with guys. So I got Brokeback Mountain and In and Out. I also picked up the first season of The L Word, very lesbian friendly, plus there's a bisexual character."

I couldn't help laughing. Carmen looking at me sadly, so I hugged her.

"Carmen, we don't need to watch gay movies, just because I like girls and boys, doesn't mean I want to watch them."

"There's some hot girls in The L Word," She noted. I laughed again.

My cheeks felt warm. "I suppose we could give it a try."

Tibby and Lena finished off the pasta and served it up, we sat down in front of the 'The L Word'. We didn't get very far when Lena and Carmen started asking me questions.

"What happened with Jane?" Lena muttered, followed quickly by Carmen.

"Yeah, she looked pretty upset when she left."

I sighed, not really sure how I felt about telling them. "We had a fight, well, we broke up."

"Oh no. What happened?" Carmen gasped.

I laughed. "It's ironic really, she had a hard time accepting that I couldn't tell you guys. Then when she left, I did."

"Will you two get back together do you think?" Lena asked, rubbing my shoulder supportively. I smiled back at her.

"No, not right now anyway. I don't think it was as much about me, but more about her dad. She needs time to sort things out after that, get her head together. I think it's best if I let her have some space."

"Aww, yeah," Carmen sighed. "That must be so hard for her."

"Have you told her that?" Lena asked.

"Not yet, but I'm going to ring her in a couple of days and apologise for not being more sensitive to her."

"Sensitive? I understand with her dad, but she couldn't make you tell us, don't apologise for that."

I smiled at Carmen again, I knew she was right, but I couldn't help feeling like I should make it up to Jane somehow.

"Would you stop!" Tibby snapped, throwing her plate on the coffee table and standing up. Lena, Carmen and I all stared at her.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

Tibby blew up again. "Would you stop talking about your damn sexuality? So you're half gay, big deal. Can we just move on already?" I stared at her as she rushed out of the room, silence blanketing the scene that just played out.

-

I nominated myself to follow Tibby. I found her stood in front of her open window, staring out across the street below.

"What's wrong Tibs?" I asked, cautiously. Tibby continued to stare out of the window.

"Nothing, I'm fine."

"You're not, I know this whole thing can't be easy, getting used to it."

"You're still our Bee," Tibby muttered, but I didn't believe in what she was saying. "You're still Bee."

I sighed. "It's not the same though."

"No." Tibby admitted.

"It's okay to be mad, or upset, or hate this whole thing." I informed her. "It's okay if you hate me right now."

Tibby turned around and for the first time in days, she looked me in the eye.

"I don't hate you Bee, I couldn't."

"But you hate this situation?" I guess. Tibby nodded. "What can I do to make it easier?"

"Be straight."

I laughed and Tibby quickly joined in. I rested a hand on her shoulder.

"It's okay to feel that way. I felt that way too when I first started doubting how I felt. I didn't want this, but now I've come to realise it's who I am."

"I know," Tibby whispered.

"Maybe if you ask me any questions you have, maybe that will help?" I asked, smiling.

"Okay," Tibby began. "Did, did you ever have a crush on one of us?"

I laughed. "Oh sure, you're a real babe." I joked.

Tibby rolled her eyes and grinned. "Be serious."

"I've never felt that way about any of you. You're my best friends and that's all it is. You three mean more to me than any girlfriend, or boyfriend ever could."

"So, you still liked Eric?"

I nodded. "Of course, part of me always will. I could meet a guy tomorrow and he could be the one, I could get married to him and we could live happily ever after."

"But it could be a girl?" she checked.

I nodded again. "It could be. But who knows?"

"Is it okay if I take some time to get used to this whole thing?" Tibby sighed.

"I wouldn't expect any of you to fully accept it within two days, take all the time you need Tibby. Just as long as you let me know when you're okay."

"I will."

We hugged and I knew things were going to be okay. I let my hand wander past Tibby's lower back, until she pulled away, we both laughed and hugged again.

"You coming back to watch The L Word?" I asked, walking towards the doorway.

"I think I'll stay in here for a while."

"Okay," I muttered, leaving her alone with her thoughts.


	10. Nine: The Make Up

**AN: Sorry this isn't very long, it's been difficult getting back into writing after the Christmas/assignment period. I aim to finish this story by the end of the week.**

Once I'd sorted things out with Tibby once and for all I decided to give Jane a call. I knew it wouldn't be an easy conversation to have, but I had to try. I loved Jane and despite everything, I didn't want to lose her.

"Hi," I muttered when she answered. I heard Jane sigh, before greeting me cautiously.

"You were right," I informed her. "I should have trusted that my friends could handle the truth, I should have trusted you to be by my side when I told them. I shouldn't have treated you the way that I did when you have been going through something a lot bigger than the two of us."

Jane sighed again and quickly responded. "You're right, you shouldn't have treated me that way."

"I'm sorry," I told her with sorrow in my voice. "I told my friends and I'm ready to be with you fully, out in the open, unafraid of anything."

"You think it's that simple?" Jane asked, hesitantly. I shook my head.

"No. Of course it's not that simple, but I'm asking you for a second chance," I begged.

Jane paused, considering my plea. "There's still people who don't know, Bee."

"If you're talking about my family, they don't matter," I took a deep breath. "My father barely talks to me, my brother is a social recluse. If they ever caught me with you, it would be as insignificant as them catching me with a guy."

"I'm insignificant?" Jane asked, with slight humour in her voice.

"No, I love you Jane, you're anything but insignificant, I just meant that, I…you…" I stuttered, my voice fading away at the sound of Jane's laugh.

"I know what you meant," she giggled. "It wouldn't be a big deal because being with me isn't any different to being with Eric, or any other guy."

"Exactly," I grinned, sighing with relief.

Jane and I talked for a while longer, before we hung up and I went to bed. It was only ten pm, which was usually early for me. But Jane had promised to come back to the apartment the next day, so I was impatient as the clock ticked slowly through the hours and for Jane to arrive back in my arms.

I woke up early, around six, with feet itching to move. I climbed out of bed, pulled on my running shoes and jogged on the spot before racing off for the door. I placed my hand on the metal handle when a knocking sound came from the other side. I pulled the door open swiftly and was shocked to find Jane stood on the other side.

"I couldn't sleep, I was too excited. Hope you don't mind!" she smiled. I laughed and pulled her into an embrace, my itching feet settling instantly.


End file.
